July 29, 2025
am savourin the flavour of ma favourite friends
a cant keep going on like this, man. get up for a pish and notice my injured ball lookin weird as fuck, turned out it was backwards (: had to rotate back. so it's defo a bellclapper deformity, n this mf really wants to do the twist. which means am at high risk for testicle tortion. the funny thing is, that's been one of my biggest fears since it happened to my brother back in 2005. apparently its one of the worst pains a man can feel. naturally after it happened to my brother, ma brain decided to haunt me with the images ever since. one of my biggest intrusive thoughts is now haunting me cause it could become a reality. a need a new keyboard, this ones fuccked. anyway, the pains a worrying thing for sure, but i think the real thing that scares me is going through the worst pain you've ever been through WHILE waiting between 5-10 hours in a fuckin hospital just to be seen. thats the situation that scares me the most about this. curled into a ball on the floor, screaming and puking. fuck that. i decided if i get testicle torsion due to this bellclapper shit then am gonna fix it maself. am not gonna go through that shite, so if it happens, al lift my testicle up and rotate it back to its normal position. Al then smoke a big joint and go to the hospital. but there's no chance am dain that waiting for eternity shit while being in that much agony. once again, fuck that. everything is fucking pish when ye have ocd. everything ye fuckin look at you're met with a brutal visual image. i remember as a wean in primary two i had my first intrusive thought. my classmates were covered in blood.
You better change it back or we will both be sorry.